Edward and the Goose
by kitt3y
Summary: Edward meets a goose on a fateful day.


I got incredibly bored and... well, this is the outcome. It becomes more ridiculous by the second, so be warned.

Geese are funny. I like geese. :D

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__Edward and the Goose_

I strolled along the lake, alone. As I had always been. But, there is a great difference between being alone and lonely. I was certainly not the latter. Not even close. I was content in my solitude, and I would be for as long as I lived.

I groaned inwardly, thinking about my never ending existence. I was seriously beginning to contemplate suicide, or something in the likes. Although I may not be lonely, it was depressing to stay alive for eternity. All the time in the world means that you would have time to discover everything - and then some.

I could understand how my family were somewhat over joyed over the fact that they had forever with each their partners. I would be, too, I would assume. Their thoughts always revolved around each other, every second they were apart, - which were rare occasions - their thoughts were always about each other. I could imagine that they were incredibly happy, and I understood that bystanders thought it was charming. Myself, I was just glad they had found happiness with the other, but it was somewhat sickening at times.

With my supernatural hearing abilities and mostly unwanted powers to see what was happening at first hand... I shuddered at the very thought.

"Honk." An incredibly nasal sound went off suddenly, and I looked around, startled. I laughed a bit at myself as I saw... well, a goose. A goose with snow white feathers and a bright orange beak and huge red feet. I had never thought of how ridiculous these birds were before.

Around me was silence, - both mentally and physically - but I looked around just to check that nobody was there. When I had assured myself that nobody was around, I crouched, sitting on the balls of my heels.

"Hello, goose," I said, harkling my throat a little bit. I felt slightly awkward, but I just... needed to talk to someone. "How are you?"  
"Honk."  
"Yeah, I know what you mean, goose." I sighed. "I've sunken pretty low. I mean, I'm talking to a bird, for Christ's sake! No offense."

Silence. Although, even though I had requested that he take no offense, he seemed to be quite unamused.  
"I'm bored. And tired. Not physically, obviously, but I'm just feeling a little sick of life and I'm tired of being here. You know?"

"Honk."  
"Yeah, you're a goose. You don't really have to deal with these kind of things."

"Honk."

We were both quiet for a minute and an awkward moment settled between us. It seemed that this goose wasn't all too talkative, only replying once spoken to. The goose seemed to be giving me the once over, eyeing me with slight suspicioun but was although intrigued. I wished I could read the minds of animals, too. It would be rather interesting.

"Well, I'd better head back, goose. Not that anything is waiting for me back home, I just... want to go now."

"Honk!"  
"Yes. Goodbye, goose." I started walking away but heard a pitter patter of feet slapping the mud. I turned around and saw the goose following me. I sighed.

"Now, goose, your family will miss you. You should head back." The goose simply stood there.

"Don't be irrational! Think this through, goose! Your fellow geese will think you're deceased, and they'll mourn you for God knows how long. I can imagine that you're loved, little goose."

He blinked at me.

I started walking again, but that pitter patter was heard again. I stared down at the ground, and the goose was stepping on my foot. I contemplated. I could take the goose home... and we'd live happily ever after. I'd finally have that one special goose I'd always secretly wanted all my life. I sighed once more.

"Alright, goose. I'll take you home with me. But just remember that... I'm a monster and... I could kill you, goose. I could kill you and I wouldn't even know it. I'm a vampire."  
By the look on his face, I bet he would have gasped if he were physically capable of that. "Yeah. Still wanna come?"

"Honk."  
"Okay then." And so I picked the goose up, gave it's feathery head a kiss and wandered off.

_The End... ?_

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My parents would be so proud.


End file.
